Graduation Take #2.

Well I graduated from high school this past week:) (:P)
My graduation day started out by signing yearbooks and eating food at UCAS and Seminary,
Then slowly the time approached when I would walk across the stage...
Actually, more slowly than you would think:P
The waiting persisted indefinitely until...TADA, I could finally at least sit down...
Then speeches, musical numbers and a lot more waiting.
Each person's name was read, their selected school and major, plus scholarships earned/received.
But you know...while the information was read, I observed each person would just stand awkwardly on the stage while they waited to receive their well deserved high school diploma.
I knew I didn't want to stand there awkwardly so I started to devise a plan.
As my time approached, my heart was pounding as I was raking my brain for something to do.
Unfortunately my time came too quickly and I robotically walked up the steps to the stage.
The lights were shining in my eyes as I looked out to the audience and then...
"Sydney Ward will attend..."
I had to do something different and fast, I thought. I did not want to be awkward and stand there!
Without even thinking about what I was doing, my hand shot up into the air while the other went to my hip and I did the classic hip-arm pose while smiling the smile that was given to me by my parents.
My heart raced as I held my pose for two seconds and I got a few laughs from the audience.
Everything went blank as my cheeks filled with a deep red and I continued across the stage to receive my diploma.
What had I just done?!
Feeling rather embarrassed as I walked past the administration I got a few high fives from my classmates as I returned to my seat, relieved that this moment had finally past.
The procession of 123 students came to an end. It was over.
The senior class president stood in front of us as we all stood and moved our tassels from the right to left...I was in a daze.
Had this really just happened? Had I finally completed the battle of following curriculum to earn a diploma?
I was in awe as I walked to the back of the ballroom to return my stoles and get my *real* diploma.
I saw my parents waving at me from the back as I finished sliding my diploma into its folder.
Pictures were taken, money and gifts were received from family and then I was leaving.
Hours later after a few post-graduation activities, I drove into the UCAS parking lot and into the AC for the last time...ever.
I knew what I had to do: I had to have fun and enjoy every second I could with my classmates, but how could I when I knew it was all over...?
Nevertheless, the activities happened, food was eaten, prizes were won, and people were hurt.
All night turned out to be what felt like a few short hours as high school officially wrapped up.
I will admit I cried. As hard as I tried not to cry, I couldn't resist and tears came in steady streams sliding down my face as reality slapped me in the face.
High school was over and there was nothing I could do about it.
The never ending roller coaster of life had started and the control man started it without my permission.
It was inevitable of course. It always was.
But where had the past 18 years of my life gone?? How did it already come to this?!
The only place to go from here though is forward. Forward into oblivion.
So while the ride is going, you might as well hold on tight to what you got and enjoy it.
Enjoy the wind, enjoy the ups and down, the spins and drops, everything.
Because what else can you do?

Work, Walks, Bikes, Boys, Stars, and Clouds

^^That pretty much sums up the past month of my life...haha
I work 5 days a week, an average of 32 hours a week at WAL*MART:)
I've gone on several walks: Stewart Falls, the Y mountain, Smiths from my house, Highland Glen, Trail behind Shawn's house
I also went on a bike ride with Myron and Ryan up in the mountain and dang...they boys can bike:P
I've been hanging out with Ryan, Shawn and Chris a whole bunch this month:)
It's been an exciting ride:) ((haha **cough cough**))
There was a meteor shower this past Friday night and Ryan did me the pleasure of being there to watch it with me at 1am...haha. although we only say like 1...:P
And clouds...I realized how lovely clouds can be and how annoying they can be as well.
During the day, they are fabulous! But at night...not so much:)

oh and I graduated from Seminary tonight with Jessica and Sabrina:)!

The End:)

View from a walk With Chris

Haha. 

Sunset from the Trail behind Shawn's House

Panorama from the Y

Hiking the Y

At Seminary Graduation!!

Shawn's Birthday!

So yesterday was Shawn Gubler's birthday!
Anyway. Me and Ryan made him a cake (it is supposed to be something from half life)

Ok, let's face it doesn't really look like it to much, but we tried:)

We ate the cake then just hung out and Shawn got his mission call!!! Gah!!!

What a great way to spend a birthday:) I hope he had fun at least!

Prom 2014

So Prom was yesterday...:)
It was pretty fun:), not going to lie.
Our day was spent meeting up at the Tulip Festival,
Then walking around for a couple of hours,
looking at all of the perdy flowers and the inconsiderate fish!
Then Josh Johnson pulled out a HUGE thing of sandwiches and Myron had Soda,
We then sat in the shade and feasted on our picnic while enjoying the ambiance of flowers.
Me and Ryan stayed a little bit longer to talk, and by doing so: We got sunburned:P

Later after hair, make-up, and dress alterations (so annoying),
We made it to Myron's house for dinner:)
We chilled there for awhile waiting for 8 o'clock to roll around so we could leave
[[because we are obviously not going to show up on time:)]]

Slowly we made it to the dance and danced our little hearts out:)
Ok, well not really...we sat on the side and "people-watched" a whole lot and really only danced the slow songs haha.
But it was fun nonetheless.

Then after the dance we went to my house and talked for a long time.
Twas a lovely night, with a lovely boy:)

Here are some pictures:

Just a silly picture of me and my dress:)

Me putting the flower-thingy on Ryan

A nice, normal picture

Me giving my mom attitude for taking so many pictures (sorry about the "over-editing")

Finals...Gah.

So...finals are coming up....fast...
Papers keep coming.
Stress keeps building.
Anger keeps boiling inside.
Sleep keeps disappearing.
Yay...

Ironic Isn't It?

Ironic how we complain about something,
Expecting it to change, but knowing it can't,
Then when it doesn't change,
We get upset and start complaining about it again.

It seems to be a never ending cycle of stupidity.
Awesome.

Toxic

Toxic: 

acting as or having the effect of a poison; poisonous: a toxic drug.

This could be anything.
People, things, places.

But if you so desire,
you can remove that toxin from your life.
If it tries to pry itself back into your life,
be strong and don't allow it to come creeping back in.

If I Could, Then I Would

Oh mistakes:)
Hint to you all:

DON'T LET YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS TEXT FOR YOU.

It sucks.
Way bad.
Haha, but no matter.

I am loving the weather.
I can just sit on my bed with the window wide open to let some fresh air into my bedroom,
without freezing my butt off:)
I can drive around with my windows down,
I can go to school without a jacket now,
I can start wearing other things besides pants,
((although I already wore skirts a lot before))
And the best thing:
I can get my "feel good" sunshine rays naturally,
versus using my "happy light" ((but it worked well when I used it during winter:)))

I still love cloudy days where the sun doesn't shine,
and the clouds make shapes across the sky as rain is released from them,
and the puddles form everywhere,
but every so often, the sun's bright light,
and clear blue skies, and warmth
can be quite comforting:)

Another thought I had today as I was walking across campus...
I have decided to change "grumpy day" soundtrack.
I usually listen to Pandora when I need fresh music,
and I started today off by listen to my hard music because I wasn't too happy.
But as I was starting to walk to my class,
I decided to make a "LDS Hymns of Worship" station.
Rather than making me remember all of the reasons why I was upset,
making me even more down and angry,
it made me think of things that actually matter.
It made me think of the Savior and how I can turn to him to comfort me,
It made me look around and see others as Children of God
and it made me happy:)

It is now my new favorite way to "de-tox" from things I don't need to worry about it.

Try it. It's great:)

haha. and the part that made me the happiest inside,
I was walking around the hallway with my headphones in,
and no one would have ever guessed that I was listening to church music:)

Meh.

I give up:)
Haha. Mmm.
Once again, Yes? No? Maybe?
We will see how this goes sometimes soon:)

Valentine's Day:)

Well,
Nothing special really happened..But I don't care:)
I took care of my family so my parent's could go have fun,
Most of the time I was at my house, blasting love songs, DANCING:)
My dog thought I was a little bit crazy:) haha.
I did a few small heart attacks for my family for their rooms
((Which took awhile to cut out:)))
//Aarron is making fun of my typing...I can't type now...Gah.
//still watching Frozen:) Fun stuff.
I then came over to Shawn's house and we are just chilling:)
//Frozen for the......16th/17th time? :)

I "found" a "quote" about Valentine's Day:)

On this Valentine's Day, if you don't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, it doesn't matter. This holiday is about love. Love is all around you and it doesn't mean it has to be directed towards a single person. You love your dog, your friends, your family, so focus your attention and energy on them. And if you don't do that, focus on loving yourself. You have to live with yourself 24/7 so loving yourself is imperative. So on this Valentine's Day, don't wallow in self pity over that one person you don't have and focus your attention on the people that you do.

I like it:)
Enjoy your day of love:)
Love you all:)

Such An Annoyance

This is the song that beat out "Let It Go" in the Golden Globe Awards

I actually kinda like this song, it's catchy:)

On another note.

School: blech. blech. blech.

Friends: erm...uh...

Work: what a party and nuisance.

Family: couldn't be better:)

Just life is full of annoyances...Ugh.

Just many, many things and thoughts...

New Year's Party!!

Despite past New Year's Eve traditions,
I decided to do something crazy this year!
I went up to Salt Lake City with Chris Vizcardo and Steve Ramos and partied:)
We went to an improv show for a hilarious 45 minute show,
Gotta party with Steve and his band, Jupiter Suit
Walked around Temple Square and looked the lights
Also listening to Joshua Creek in the Tabernacle
Played in a room full of big beach balls (basically just hitting each other with them:))
Danced with Hula Hoops that were glow in the dark!!
And finally ended the night with Smallpools and a countdown for the new year!!
Well, I guess the day officially ended with Fireworks, but ya know:)

It was a great way to end 2013 and a good beginning to 2014:)
Thanks guys:)!!

Winter Formal Date

Twas a lot of fun:)
Here are a few pictures!!

Me and Shawn
Being awkward with our pink:)

The Group:) All wearing red and black/white
(^^hence the awkward with the pink)

The girls: Me, Jeanenne, Angela, & Morgan

Us playing Games

We went sledding which was a blast!!
I got a lot of bruises to remember it by:)
Then got some hot lava from Sodalicious (amazing by the way)
Got ready at Cole's house and ate yummy Chinese Food:)
Followed by pictures and Apples to Apples and Catch phrase:)
We went to the dance and partied it up like mad men and women!!!
I did get sick and threw up my dinner, but I was able to feel a bit better and dance a tad bit more.
Then came home:)

Such a blast:)
Thanks Shawn Gubler!!!

Yes....Yes I Do

School is now OFFICIALLY OUT.
Booyah.
My math class ended being curved so my C turned into a C+!!
I got to eat scones and play Irish Twister with the best people today!
[what a way to end a school year!]
I gotta hang out with My Senior Brother, we watched iRobot,
But then he left so I hung out with Manuel, Alex, and Randy!
Then these 4 13-14 year old boys were checking me out and taking pictures of me on the bus awkwardly.
AND I finally got my shifts figured out for work and by the end of this week and next week,
(without taxes being deducted) I will have received $221.
I feel quite happy at the moment:)
Today is just....One of those days:)

Oh Boy.

Found out I failed my Math Final. 110/200:(
I now will receive my first C ever.
I know that's hardly anything to complain about, but it's a big deal to me....
I got all of my papers turned in today,
My Senior Kid showed me what he looked like in Spandex....[Don't ask me why]
I found out that my Physics teacher must really like me or something 'cause he gave me full credit on assignment I didn't really finish.....(Creepy much? JK, He's cool)
I failed my History test too 'cause I was super stupid and I didn't study this weekend.
Instead of doing all of my homework Saturday I hung out with some lovely people:)
I get distracted very easily, and I am annoyed with a lot of people.
Me and Tressa decided that today was one of those, "I want to Kill the World" days!!!
***************************************************
So story of yesterday.
I hate guys even more.
There's this.....Guy, k?
Here's some background:
His name is Mike.
He is one of those bad boy types who doesn't have a lot of friends.
Well I talk with him a lot and we talk on Facebook a lot.
Following me so far?
Well I got on Facebook yesterday and He asked for my number, so I gave it to him.
he started texting me and getting all cute.....I won't put the whole conversation in but here is a lot of it:
(We started talking about the Eclipse yesterday)
My glasses weren't stron enough I hope my eyes get better. Otherwise I can't look at cute girsl ;)
Oh yes because that is your favorite hobby;)
I practice every day in student success ;)
Oh you look at Gabbie? How cute;)
I'm too lazy to turn my head. Luckily, there's a cute girl right in front of me ;)
Oh:) Thanks:) thats good to know:)
Btw gabbie's only a friend to me. Plus there's cuter girls around ;)
Oh I know. No need to clarify. No wonder why you might leave school next year. With so many girls around how on earth do you concentrate? ;)
Well there's this one girl...And she's really cute... And a really good friend...I might not leave cuz I'll be leaving her...;) I think I might like her... (as more than friends)
[Then I didn't reply for quite a while....then.....]
I mean you.

Ya. Well. Don't know what to say. Yup.....That's un update on my love life.
Nothing special.
See ya!

"b-e-a-utiful"

I feel so bad for him.
He has come so far.
He has pushed so hard through the pain.
Yet, he won't let anyone in.
It's very sad.
**********************************************
It was Treven's birthday yesterday:)
He pitched very good and batted well....AND got a point:)
I hope his arm heals soon.
**********************************************
I had my first half of my math final today.
I stayed up till 2 studying last night,
Then I took the 7:10 bus this morning to study with Tressa and go into Tutoring.
Plus I got a whole class period to study.
I thought I was prepared.
Sadly, I stared at the test. I was lost.
I took all of the time I could. I was 15 minutes late to class.
Dumb test.
But more to come tomorrow! Huzzah right?!
No.
**********************************************
He is We-All About Us

hectic day.

At lunch James offered to get me In 'n Out burger, 'cause I've never had it before.

Well. Woke up this morning remembering that I had a project in Physics due.
Luckily I had gotten up at 5:30 to do my hair, so I got out of bed and went to Fresh Market.
At 6 am.You'd be surprised how many people were shopping that early!!
But they didn't have my drink so I went to Heart's instead
and I bought a Mountain Dew Voltage. ((Yummy!!))
And I got my egg all prepared so after I was done drinking it, I could launch it.
But I slept in too late [7:20 to be exact] and I almost missed my bus as usual.
And once I got to school we watched a sad Holocaust movie then my egg cracked...:(
And the container holding the egg broke....which is a bad thing.
Anywho. Things got better after that.
But before he left I just tagged along and sluffed my 4th period class:) Muahaha.
He was sweet and bought me a Burger and a Shake:)
We called it our "Unofficial Date".
Then on the bus.......haha........
Amanda got mad at me so she hit my nose pretty hard and I have always had a sensitive nose so...
I got a bloody nose right at the beginning of the bus ride!!
No one had tissues or anything and when I used a tampon....it started to go down my throat :P!!
So I used my jacket....It got EVERYWHERE!!! and everyone was laughing at me!!
But it ended right before the bus pulled up.
But It was ALL over my face....:( so once again people were laughing.
And I needed to pick food up for Shelby anyway, so Tressa came with me and she watched the workers reaction when they saw all of the blood on my face:) It was Priceless!
then made a cake, Ate food, went to a baseball game, Just the Usual:)
Now I am procrastinating homework that I need to do.
Aren't I clever?
Plus I'm texting Riley and Git....Ya I sorta fail at this Homework thing:)
Oh well:)
G'night!!
I gotta go do homework now :P

What a Weekend

Well.
This has been such an amazing weekend.
Captain America with Jess and Jordan Friday
and Lagoon with my Cousins Saturday:)
AND, Mother's day yesterday!
I love my madre so much:)
She has always been there for me and she always knows what to say.
She is such an amazing woman and I wish we had more days to celebrate her!
Well You can celebrate her any day you want, but I think they should be recognized more often:)
**********************************************
I decided also that girls are just cool.
We don't need guys to complete us, isn't that right ladies?
Actually, we all just secretly want a man, but we don't necessarily need one.
True? Or am I behind....???
IDK.
I don't really know.
Sometimes I wish I didn't make certain promises.
Sometimes I wish I could have what so many girls have.
Yet at the same time I know I will be better off being single till after high school.
I have seen what the after effects can have on friends.
Guys can come between girls super easily. I have seen it.....A lot.
If you don't believe me, ask my Schwester.
Baha. and This comic:) SO true:)

just what I needed

Just when you feel like you absolutely hate the world,
something great can happen.
I was texting my friend last night when he asked me,
"Do you want to call and read scriptures with me?"
So of course I did.
We read Luke 4 together.
Then we continued to talk about spiritual experiences together and he told me about his conversion story until midnight.
He is such a doll!
But I feel bad because he had to wake up at 4:30 this morning.....
But he completely turned my night around.
I think more guys should be like that. Just saying:)
I think I am going to try to do that with people more often.
I am going to ask people if they would like to read the scriptures with me over the phone.
Because there is always a first for everything.
If you ever want to read with me, Just text me:)
It really does make a difference, so you should try it.
Tis all.
********************************************
Haha, now I am in Physics on the computer....
Dumb CRT testing.
Oh well, I got Pandora going and I am writing on my blog, what could be better?
Happy Testing month!!

I know, I know, I know

I know.
You don't need to tell me twice.
I know I don't like talking to people.
I know that I can get on your nerves when I don't want to do what you do.
I know that I just don't connect with you guys anymore.
I just know.
I am seriously trying to move on from what I heard tonight.
I don't appreciate it, and I don't want to have to deal with it.
I know the people I talk to didn't say it, but they still did.
Ya.
Life is hard, then you die.
But you can either go through it trying your hardest, or give up and let people trample you.
It's your choice.
As for me, I am going to try:)
Now time to go and face my so-called "friends" at UCAS......:P
But hey, It's almost summer right? :)