SHUT UP

this song gave me the chills....I almost started crying because I could relate so much to it:)

Mostly the screaming part.....haha

Be Nice. Be Positive. Be You.

that's my new mantra.

yesterday was kinda a bad day for me.

i want to be better.

i want to be happy.

i don't want to be the depressing person.

i just want to be happy and not complain:)

School.

It's official.

I hate school.

I hate the PEOPLE.

I hate the majority of the administration.

I hate being forced to be happy.

I hate the drama.

I hate the cliques.

I hate the image I created the past 2 years.

I hate the new rules.

I hate the crowded hallways.

I hate the dances.

I hate the student government.

I hate the commute.

I hate the conversations.

I hate the perversion.

And lastly,

I hate the memories.

But.

On the bright side....

I like school.

I like the few friends I've created.

I like a few of the teachers.

I like having bubbly people around me.

I like the freedom of college.

I like the excitement of some dances.

I like a few of the conversations.

I like seminary.

I like the time it uses.

I like the excuse of homework.

I like the books.

I like the computers.

And lastly,

I like a few of the memories.

Lots of good memories. Lots of bad ones.

LOTS of bad ones...

But alas:

It really is true.

Once I graduate, I'm gonna miss a lot of the people...

I'm gonna miss my friends.

The memories.

The smell.

The familiarity...

Oh dang....

I don't know if I should be happy or sad for school to start.

Freak.

I JUST WANT TO GRADUATE ALREADY.

The Right vs. The Wrong?

Friends are supposed to help.
Friends are supposed to make you feel like you can do anything.
Friends are supposed to be supportive, even if they don't agree.
Friends are supposed to always be there if you need help.
Friends are supposed to Slap some sense into you if you need it.
Friends are supposed to be trustworthy.

***VS***

Friends are not supposed to make you feel like crap.

Friends are not supposed to be your punching bags.

Friends are not supposed to let you walk all over them.

Friends are not supposed to put up with being insulted by their friends.

Friends are not supposed to put YOU down.

Friends are not supposed to sit by the sidelines while you struggle.

{{So why is it hard to be a good friend?}}

Society makes it simple.

Simple.

So why is it so hard?

It is laid out perfectly for us.

No question, just expectations.

Yet, so many fail at this simple task of being a friend.

So hard yet so easy.

Friends fail.

TRUST FAILS.

We put trust in the wrong people.

Some are very good at acting apparently.

You tell them one thing and the next thing you know, they are off telling another.

But you don't want to jeopardize your friendship so you keep pretending it's OK.

When in reality, it's NOT OK.

I don't know. Today is a ranting day.

I'm sick of people using other people.

I'm sick of feeling like crap around some "friends".

I'm tired of the pretending.

I'm tired of broken trust.

Too many experiences. 

I can't wait to try to meet new people...

But even then, things might repeat... 

Well, just keep being happy.
Keep letting things unfold.
'Cause it's kinda the only way to figure out what's going to happen.
Let things happen...


This post didn't really have a true meaning. Or actually, a true direction...Just kinda spastic thoughts all jumbled together in a post.