Hmm.

Sometimes you just have to cry.

No matter how hard you try not to,

it just happens.

Smiling and being charismatic can be overwhelming.

But it's hard to cry when you have the reputation of being happy.

Even when you only smile 80% of the time, people ask.

People treat you differently. They are: nicer, kinder, sympathetic, concerned.

Well, sometimes you don't want that. Sometimes you just want to be alone.

And since when have they actually cared?!

They are only kind when they feel something bad has happened.

You get to the point where you get up in the morning, look in the mirror and say,

"Who am I going to be today? My true feelings, or the person they expect me to be?"

I know what I want, but I don't know how to do it.

You see: There is this....guy....

Well, multiple guys.

All having their differences, all being unique in their own way.

I've gotten....wrapped up in some of them....

Dang do you start regretting things.

If you really know me, you will agree that I am kinda stupid.

I get involved in things and I screw things up and I make things wrong.

I stay up late thinking at night.

Just thinking.

Reminiscing if you will on the past.

I will think so much and ruin everything.

It sucks.

I hate it.

But life goes on and so must I.

I may be lost and confused and guilty and regretful, but that's me...